I am writing you this letter with a piece of paper of Ricardo’s notebook. I know I am always repeating the same, but even though you will never read this letter, I feel better when I talk to you. This last year has been horrendous. There is not a day that I am not worried about the kids. It is so hard for me to keep them well fed.
Mom, you won’t believe it, but there is no food in the supermarket. The only food is available is too expensive that I cannot afford it. Thank God, the boys do not notice it. They complain about the food but like any other kids. I only can eat once per day. I prefer to scarify my diet for the kids.
In the beginning, I felt weak and tired, but I think my body understands that there is no other option. I have lost some hair, my skin is opaque, my teeth are almost brown, and I am thinner than I ever dreamed. I think I cry every day. I cry because I became an ugly woman; I cry because my kids are too small, and they are not growing up as they should; I cry because there is no way I can resolve this situation because it is not only me; everybody in this country is starving.
The boys only eat twice per day, so I gave them oats, fororo, or cornstarch with water as breakfast (there is no way to buy milk); for lunch, I play with beans, rice, and pasta, and for dinner I only can give them some chocolate beverage with water (they are happy because they have chocolate for dinner). I wish I could buy some unhealthy snacks, but even them are impossible.
Mom, I have done horrible things. I will never forget myself, but my boys are my world. A couple of months ago, my neighbor, Yesenia, shared with me an empanada of meat. I liked; I had not eaten meat for over a year. It was delicious.
She told me she bought some good cheap meat, and she can share with me. I was so happy; finally, we had some excellent food. My children just loved it. I did not have enough to eat meat every day, but we could eat it often.
A week ago, I read in the newspaper that there is a new black market of meat. There is growing up because people are desperate with no food. The problem with this fresh meat is they are from cats and dogs. I am not strong enough to ask Yesenia where she finds the meat we have eaten all these weeks.
Mom, I have to go because we just lost the electricity supply for the first time these weeks.